I said in the beginning that our purpose was to break away from the cycle we were in and follow our dreams of living self sustainably on a homestead and without being tethered to the cycle of owing money to people. This is still our main purpose. We want to show people that life doesn’t have to be this hard.
I look back at where we were four months ago when we started the project and I’m astounded at our success. We have come so far. From not knowing how we were going to pay the rent and feed ourselves to owning almost 11 acres of property and having extra income to be able to put aside money to build our house. That’s crazy!!! When we first started I warned people that we were probably going to have to run a go fund me project to be able to build the house and I’m really questioning now whether we will have to. Our life is really good right now.
That being said we have hit a hiccup, a major hiccup. One that could potentially put us not only back to where we were but even further back than that. I have to be completely truthful, I’m really scared. What I don’t want to do is have to ask my family for help. This is a two fold reason. First off, I don’t want to have to ask for help. This whole project is how we can do it ourselves. Asking for help is not something that comes easily to either of us and we would rather not have to. Secondly, and dont get me wrong I love my family, but I know the way my family thinks of me and I don’t want to feed that perception any more than I have to. It’s not their fault either, I was always the super emotional needy one who couldn’t handle money. I know that I hit a hiccup like this and they all shake their heads at my bad decision making skills. I do have to say I’ve grown a lot since I was that person, especially in the last 2 years, but it’s hard to change a 34 year image of someone. I’m also not like anyone in the family. I’m sure they all think this is a silly project, and that’s ok. I disagree with some of their life choices too. So the last thing I want to do is have another reason for them to think of me in this way still. although I have a feeling that will never change, but I really think I’ve come to terms with that.
What I want to make sure you understand is that I’m not using this blog to ask people for help or to make people feel sorry for us. I want people to feel hopeful that despite the bad things that happen, because bad things WILL happen, that it’s ok and you can get through it. I’m sorry if I haven’t made that perfectly clear.