I’m so tired all the time

This is so hard.  This entire project is so hard.  I feel like we are still broke all of the time.  I just have to keep looking forward.  We have to finish paying off the excavator so we can rent a backhoe so we can do the perc test, which we have to have $150 for.  I budgeted to have it all set and somehow we are WAY off on the budgeting.  Several surprises came up this week, like needing a bunch of stuff for the garden.  Another tire blew out on the trailer that we have the water barrel thing on to get water with.  This means that we can’t get more water until we spend more money on getting a tire.  I’m stressed all the time.  I just keep looking towards the future.  Right now is hard because we need a lot of money upfront, but once the foundation gets laid we will have very little to purchase.  I knew that starting this project was going to be hard, but damn this is really tough.  I think I need to push back some of our goals for a while.  Right now we need to focus our funds on canning and freezing what we have from the garden.  I guess we can do the perc test friday.  We will have $400 to put aside on thursday, plus $200 we have right now.  We need $250 for the excavator and $150 for the perc test.  This will leave us exactly $200 to get the floor plans so we can start modifying them.  By the end of the month we will have at least another $500, hopefully $800 if everything goes right (which it probably wont, but we can pray).  This we will use to get the sewage permit and the building permit.  At this point we can start building the tire wall while saving for the foundation.  We will need about $4500 to lay the foundation.  The good news is that the tire wall should basically be free.  if we save about $1000 a month we can have the foundation laid by mid January.  That’s not optimum, we were hoping to have the outside of the house finished before it starts to get really cold.  I would love to have the foundation down before the end of the year, but that’s not going to happen unless there is some sort of a miracle.  I’m starting to feel better, not freaking out as much.  The worst case scenario is that we have to hold off on building until the spring.  The hardest part will be the tires, and as long as we can get the tires down it will be ok.  We can save up the rest through the winter which should give us about $8000 by the end of April.  So worst case scenario is that we lay the foundation in April.  I don’t want to do that, but I could do it.  That would still put us on track for being in the house by the end of the summer if we work really hard on it.  I think I will feel a lot better once the foundation is down.  I’m just having a freak out.  I need a break.

there is always this too: www.gofundme.com/0tohomestead

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