The bane of my sanity

  Meanwhile on the Homefront….

Currently the only way to keep our home heated well is a wood burning stove that is in our living room. C grew up using these so he is fairly used to them. I, on the other hand, did not. We had a fireplace we used about twice a year at my moms house when we wanted to feel cozy. 

This is our stove 

 It’s actually a really nice stove. “Why do I hate it?” You ask. Because of several reasons 

1) this stove in our tiny house has 2 temperatures. “No heat is coming out” which makes the house the same temperature as it is outside or “dear Lord it is hot in here we have to open windows to survive”. Now don’t get me wrong there is an in between but it only happens when the fire is trying to die so you have to poke it every 10 minutes so it doesn’t become the first temperature. This isn’t bad if you are at home, awake, and have the time to poke at it every 10 minutes. But let’s be real here, how often do you think that actually happens with us?  

2) I have never in my life chopped wood.  You would think this would be an easy task. Take an axe. Hit some wood with it. Instant firewood. Not so much. It has taken about two weeks to get the hang of chopping wood. I say two weeks. What I actually mean is about 10 minutes at a time 4 times over the past 2 weeks. I have been lucky enough that C had chopped all the wood I need. He is back at work now so much practicing has happened in the last 2 days. 

  

This is the 8lb splitting maul C bought me to help me split wood because the axe didn’t have enough power behind it. 

  
This is the log C cut that I have spent the last 15 minutes trying to split 

  
This is the same log with an axe stuck in it (and I mean that sucker isn’t coming out easily) because I somehow thought the axe would do a better job?  It looks like this log will have to be split when C gets home from work. 

3) I am the worlds worst arsonist, unless you count unintentional fires. I’m great at those. I am terrible at starting a fire. The kids and I ran errands today and when we returned the fire had gone out. There were a few hot coals left but basically it was done. I added small pieces of wood with even smaller kindling. Lit pieces of cardboard on fire to get it started. Fire started burning well but then I somehow managed to put out everything, including the hot coals.  After an hour of trying to start the fire, screaming at the stove, throwing the rake thing, using 2 types of accelerants, explaining to my 2 year old that mommy isn’t acting properly because mommy is frustrated, then telling her that mommy wanted to “set the thing on fire” which made me stop and laugh about the fact that I did indeed want to set it on fire, I finally got a good fire going. 

4) I somehow always turn my hands, arms, and face completely black every time I mess with this stove. 

The positives?  The house is warm most of the time, I am learning a valuable life skill, and lastly, apparently chopping wood burns about 480 calories an hour. That’s a major workout. 

My accomplishments today:  
   

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