Me too

I’ve had a hard time with this one. Even to the point where I’m still not sure that I should be making this post, but maybe that’s why I am. As a woman I have been harassed and assaulted many many times. There is one in particular that I have a hard time talking about publicly. It’s not that I don’t want people to know, I actually do because it’s a very important topic to discuss. It involves a boss and inappropriate behavior. How do you stand up to this kind of behavior when your job is at stake? How do you speak up when everyone could be out of work? People ask why it took so long for women to come forward about Harvey Weinstein but I know why. I know what it’s like to be too afraid to say anything. He had us all believing that people would hate us if we spoke up. Lives would be destroyed. It turns out nobodies lives were destroyed but his.

The reason I haven’t talked about this is because it involves other people that I am still friends with, people that I really respect. To out myself publicly would also be outing them and I can’t, in good conscience, do that. It’s also something that we haven’t discussed with each other, and at least to me it’s still an open wound. It was an ongoing incident over 2.5 years that ultimately cost me my job (because I would wake up wanting to stab myself rather than go back to work and my productivity dropped). To the people involved, if you are reading this, you are amazing and I am glad we are friends, although I wish it had been under better circumstances. Stay strong and fight the good fight!

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Finding the joy

C recently helped me realize that I have been so determined to finish this project that I have lost sight of all the reasons we were doing the project in the first place. I’m have been putting the house before everything else, including him. Over the last week or so we have both been trying to get back to the people we were, or at least the people we wanted to be. Instead of talking about all the reasons we want to move we are talking about all the good things that will happen when we move. Instead of saying “I can’t wait to move so I can have my own kitchen” we say “if we were home right now we could make breakfast and eat it on the porch while relaxing without feeling like we have to pack the kids up”. It really does make a big difference.

I am seeing the house differently too. For once in a long time I have been feeling joy and excitement when I am out there. We are getting very close to being at the point where we are just doing little finishing up stuff. Completing the Grey water, finish installing water and electric, concrete the walls, drywall, tiling, etc. it is so exciting. Pretty soon we will start moving stuff in.

Here are some awesome pictures to be excited about. I am standing in my future shower. This is my bathroom.

This is me in my closet looking into my bathroom.

the last of the tires that need to be put up and the start to the wall having a layer of concrete. almost finished framing the new living room wall.