Struggling

This has been the hardest summer to date. This is even worse than the year we had to rebuild the tire wall. C had a “cardiac episode” almost a month ago. We have no idea what caused it but he definitely has heart damage. He was taken off work for at least a month but so far we haven’t had any answers, other than from the cardiologist who told us that “he was too young to be having heart trouble so it was probably heartburn, so take some Tums”.

I have had a really hard time getting myself back together after this, and C isn’t allowed to do anything strenuous, especially in the heat. We have been able to keep up on most of our bills but it’s been a struggle since the kids just went back to school. I was able to ramp up my bread baking for a while but I’m so afraid of getting in trouble (because the cottage food laws are strict) that I have refrained from advertising myself outside of our Facebook page. Thankfully we have a great group of friends who love bread.

The CSA has taken a huge hit because of the constant rain into immediate drought and I had to cut way back on how many I am offering. I’m really upset about it and may end up having to cut it short all together. I Think I can keep up 3 baskets for the rest of the season, buts until it starts raining again it’s really touch and go. We are behind in so many chores on the farm that I can’t even fathom catching up anytime soon.

The one silver lining is that we are living here. I absolutely love our farm and the house. I do have to force myself to stop and really take in all that we have achieved in the past few years and k ow that we will get past this. It’s also really nice having C home. It was our plan from the begining to be able to figure out how to work the land enough that he could afford to be home more. The factory job has been a huge blessing to our family but it is literally killing him. I am really impressed with his dedication to the bees though and hope that it can be lucrative in the next few years. I guess time will tell. For now we need to get through this hiccup.